–We Clicked–

Two blogs of mine from a month after Marshall and I started hanging out again, when I realized I really liked him/starting to fall in love:

Wednesday, March 07, 2006

Jump in. My chest burns.  There is a lump in my throat.  My mind races and my spine quivers.  Every inch of my body is numb.  Subdued.  My stare is locked.  Hypnotic. Just enough to send me into a paniked state. This isnt reality.  Or is it? Where have I been all this time? I gotta shake my head.  Shake it a few times.  Maybe that will rattle it out.  Seek consultating of the best kind. Amar.  That always helps. I realize, she’s right.  Damnit.  Isnt she always. The conclusion I had predicted. But is that so bad? Breathe.  Stretch.  Shake.  Let it go. Im in lust. Sideways ‘These feelings won’t go away, they’ve been knocking me sideways…” This can’t be good.   Not long after while his parents were up visiting for one of his games did I realize that I truly was in love with him.  I had been trying to avoid it, “ditch” him several times, and it just wasn’t working   Not only did I realize I loved him that day over Kristi’s infamous dinner, but so did Terry.  He caught me lovingly staring at Marshall, daydreaming I suppose, as he told a story about the game.  EMBARASSING!  I will never ever forget that either.  That’s when Terry, and I, knew I was in l.o.v.e. for good   Fastforward to this year: Portion of Letter from Marshall in bootcamp, April 4th, 2008 (hope he doesn’t mind!): “Out of all this training and all the excercise I go through, out of all the lessons I learn and all the people I meet, the single most important thing I will take away from this experience, is that being away from you for so long has made me realize you are the love of my life.  I always pictured us getting married one day and had imagined how it could be, but now I know for 100% sure that I have realized I am really ready to make plans for marriage…being away from you like this and feeling the way I do when I open up my locker and see you looking up at me is just one of the many reasons why I know I am ready for marriage with you….(I don’t really know why I am babbling on so I apologize I reckon, I’m just excited to let you know) Henyway, just wanted to let you know that today, April 4, 2008, it clicked.  Not to sound wierd, but I saw our life together and I wasn’t afraid or nervous about it.”   Now no one start commenting like crazy about me getting married or anything.  It’s not like he’s proposed (everyone lately has been suprising gungho about that though).  I have my definite opinions on the situation, like I would like to be stable with a new job and a littttttle more responsible before I make a comittment like engagement, so no worries, but it is something that we have talked about and are both on the same page about wanting to marry each other.  It’s just something that’s been on my mind a lot lately and has been the topic of conversation a lot, so I felt the need to share it with ya’ll, my favorites who love to read my rambling.  Like I said, no one start buying gifts or anything, you won’t see ME, the what used to be “I will not be engaged until I am 25…atleast” girl getting married anytime soon, especially where I am at in my career and such, but I don’t like it will be 25 anymore.  Hmmm.  We’ll see.  I just know I love him, he is genuinely the man I will marry, no doubt about it.  Our relationship has far exceeded anything I have ever experienced.  It’s just too good, if there is such a thing.  We’re young though, so no real rush   (although you can be engaged for two years or so…which is my plan)   Love ya’ll!  Big ups for everyone’s support with this situation and while my boo’s been away!  It’s been hard, but it’s what he wants to do and he is incredibly happy doing it, so I am happy for him!  I really appreciate everyone being here for me, listening, and most importantly keeping me occupied (and drunk!  )!   Thoughts?  Go ahead Becca, Kristen & Sarah, I know you got ‘um

Status: need it now

The colors & complexity caught my eye in this highly detailed “Allusion” print by Yellena James. This lush design yours (& mine!) for 20 bucks on poppytalkhandmade along with a lot of other fun illustrations.

If my walls had room, they would be covered in other people’s photography, especially the works of Jenifer Altman. Her soft & simple images of “everyday details” captured through the lens of a vintage Polaroid then reprinted in limited numbers are elegant & romantic. $35 dollars a print through http://www.fieryeyed.etsy.com.

Even though these may not be the newest, trendiest, most sophisticated pieces of glassware imaginable, I spotted them while strolling World Market in a very unguided, meandering state with my half drank soy chia latte (yeah, I’m that girl) when suddenly I realized “I need these!”, eureka-ing it so loud I startled the gentlemen inspecting the woven place mats down the isle, or so I am told. Fun, clever, & very “college apartment-y” (ugh, yeahh, but I can over look that) these are damn right sexy–quite honestly they are what inspired this blog header.:)

I found out about Lori Leavitt’s beautifully crafted jewelry through a friend of mine. Her dainty pieces are very vintage & reminiscent & have graced the pages of many high fashion magazines. This “Key to Success” bangle is a favorite because, well, who wouldn’t want to have the key to success? It doesn’t hurt that I’m a big time bangle girl & it’s uber cute!

Holy comfy love When I first gaaaaazed upon this Kissing Pleat duvet from Anthropologie I fell in love. Could a bed BE any more perfect? Just as I picked it up & without hesitating was about to carry it to check out, I remembered: I have a pup who sometimes wets the bed. This, infact, would not be a good investment :/ So with great distraught I returned the expensive duvet back to it’s shelf & wandered over to TJ Maxx instead to pick up a comprable, but not nearly as well suited for me duvet. My heart still stops when I see this. Ahhhh, le sigh. Once my dog stops pee-peeing in his sleep—one day.

Sky’s the Limit

In a spur of the moment trip, I am currently at Rebecca’s house in Luray, Virginia. In what was intended to be a leisurely nature trip up to Skyline Drive turned into an all out photoshoot between the two of us. Being behind the camera is certainly not something I am used to…well, if it’s for someone else. I am no forigiener to self portraits, we know that! The weather in the valley was lovely, close to 70 degrees, but a heck of a lot chillier on the mountain tops. To passerbys we looked like fools, rolling around in the grass and dirt at each pull-off, I’m sure, but we didn’t mind! It was all in good fun! I’m about to head out to Buckingham for the night, maybe see some old pals, then spend the night in Appomattox tomorrow with Marshall’s mom. I miss them, and am kind of excited to maybe partake in some more picture taking in Buckingham, the old stomping grounds. Too much more photography, I’m gonna be photo-ed out! Ahhh, nevverrrrr!

Taking the Time

Today I woke up and noticed:  I am officially bored out of my brains.  It has only been a week since school happenings have officially ceased & I am about to go berserk.  At first I was loving not having to wake up and suffer through two hours of rudimentary physics or stress over my procrastination of a set of  apartment complex upfit construction drawings, but now that it is all said and done, I (kind of) miss it   Awww.  Not really, but I do miss being busy.  I have never been one to sit still for any period of time, so this is all very new & very foreign to me.  I’m sure most of you know I interviewed with Fusion Furniture last week and I am pretty excited about the opportunity, it seems like a very promising company and career.  The day after my interview they left of Asia until the 15th, so I will not be hearing back from them, and in the process I am still applying & interviewing, but it is all a waiting game now.

 I was so bored today in fact, that I called my Mother just to say, “I’m sooooo boooorreddddd.”  She, as always, was very encouraging and instead of spitting out a grocery list of productive things I could be doing, she simply said “take this time to do all those things you have been wanting to do but haven’t had the time for.”  I had thought of that, but for some reason it didn’t seem appealing until she said the words.  Mothers, they just have that knack, don’t they?  So that’s what I did, and have somewhat been doing.  I picked up my computer & instead of changing my picture on Facebook a million times over, looking at it, pondering, then reconfiguring my ideals & changing it again, I decided to put my creative energies elsewhere and start doing all those pesky things that really aren’t so pesky, but have always lingered in the back of my mind.  I picked up my “Website Design for Dummies”  (yes, I went there, & the book is BRILLIANT) and opened Flash on my computer for the first time.  It wasn’t long after my first redundant animation lesson that I closed the program out and followed my one day case of attention deficit disorder to my next task, reading through my Canon & Photoshop artistry books.  Soon after my addiction to Flickr kicked in and I was giving into my withdrawls, this time citing “Aaron & Melissa’s Wedding” as inspiration for my photo searches.  I have sorted through images on my computer & deleted close to a thousand rather useless images from my clogged iphoto, increased the image size of several of my favorite portfolio images that have been nagging me for months & after deliberation, purchased a successful website host with a little Flash help.  Hey hey hey, don’t judge.  I just don’t have the patience for it right now, alright!  Something HAD to be done.  I can’t keep giving out super snazzy business cards with my printing site attached to my domain now, can I?  I am making an email flyer promoting children’s photography for Lora, Marshall’s sister to send to her friends since she is such an endless marketer of mine & am planning to set up some shoots at the end of the month.  Aaron & Melissa’s contract is ready & set to be discussed on Thursday & many of Marshall’s explict demands for “send pictures!” have been mailed to his platoon.  With all of this going on, I am even considering listening to my Mother when she says “use your photos from Europe & your writing skills & write a children’s book for crying out loud!”  (that will have to come later, if even at all).   All the while, mind you, I am still applying for j.o.b’s, trying to figure out if Italy is in the cards or not & wondering how in the world to set up an interview with an  Interior Design magazine around here. 

Website & Photography print site in the works, so just be patient with me please  

Way to turn being bored around, ehy?